Hayley and Kate Minter

We figured it out.

An unexpected winter storm put a bit of a wrench in our plans for the weekend.

We were scheduled to fly up to New York for my best friend Erika’s wedding. Hayley and I were both in the wedding party, so it was really important for us to be there. Near the end of the week we heard about a winter storm in the New York area, but we were hoping it would not affect our travel plans. We called the airline Friday night to check on our flight, and sure enough, it had been cancelled. Wade spent about 45 minutes on the phone with an unusally helpful representative, but he couldn’t get us on any other flight. Wade even checked into Amtrak, but the tickets were something like $400 per person ONE WAY. So, I cleaned out the van, packed some snacks and Wade ran out to the store to pick up another XM radio car kit…that’s right–we were going to drive to Long Island.

We started out around 5:30 a.m. and arrived at out hotel on Long Island at 4 p.m., only stopping for gas, food and bathroom breaks. The wedding rehearsal began at 5 p.m., so we just had time to check into the hotel, freshen up and drive to the rehearsal. After the rehearsal and dinner, we returned to the hotel to get the girls in bed by 8:30. Hayley slept well, but Kate was a little restless. I awoke at 6:15 a.m. to get washed and dressed to head to the hair salon with Hayley and Kate, letting Wade get a few hours extra sleep since he had to drive back that night.

Hayley and I had our hair done, I did my makeup and then we (the bridal party, minus one girl) had a limo ride over to the place of the wedding.

On a side note, I was remarking to Wade how many things my kids have done at such a young age, things I didn’t do until I was much older. I didn’t fly on a plane until I was in my twenties–both my daughters have flown already, Hayley for the first time at 16 months old, Kate at less than three months. Hayley learned to ice skate at age 3; I learned to skate at age 23. And the three of us had our first limo ride this weekend. My New York friends could not believe I’d never been in a limo before, but we didn’t exactly have a limo service in Lunenburg County, Virginia. In what did we ride to prom, they wanted to know? A jacked-up pickup with a Confederate flag in the back window and some Garth Brooks blasting through the stereo was a more typical ride in my hometown.

We dressed in the bridal suite at the Venetian Yacht Club and headed upstairs for pictures. Kate was pretty unhappy by the time we were finished because she was sleepy and hungry. I thought she would nap after I fed her, but the sitter said she screamed most of the time, but finally fell asleep as she was rocked in her car seat. Poor baby. It was most likely a combination of being overtired, in a strange place and with a strange person. She did better once the ceremony was over. Wade spent a little time with her downstairs, she sleeping on him. We were even able to bring her up to the reception for a while.

Hayley did very well as the flower girl. She seemed a bit shy as she first entered the ceremony, but she became more confident after a few seconds. And, of course, she was a doll! She had the most fun at the reception, dancing. She preferred dancing with someone, but she wasn’t opposed to dancing by herself, sometimes being the only one on the dancefloor, twirling around in her “princess” dress.

We got changed, packed up and back on the road between 5:30 and 6 p.m. Kate nursed and was asleep before 7. She slept until about 2:30, ate again and continued to sleep until we got back home, around 4:30 a.m. She slept a little more after that. Hayley was able to get a bit more sleep too. We let Wade slept until about midday, and by last night, we were all back to our normal schedules.

A HUGE thanks to Wade for driving so much in a less than 48 hours. Big hugs and kisses to our girls, who couldn’t have been better on the trip. And congratulations to Erika and Nathaniel, the newlyweds, who, as you read this, are enjoying a much-deserved honeymoon in beautiful Hawaii. Their wedding was lovely and I know they will be very happy for the rest of their lives.

More on Kate…

Today she was lying on her back and several times she would pull her head up, like she was trying to do a sit-up. That was the first time I’d seen her do that. She is almost able to roll from back to front, but I haven’t seen her do it yet. She HAS been rolling onto her side a lot more lately, so it probably won’t be long before she goes all the way over.

Tonight was a nice warm night so we all went outside for a while after dinner. Hayley wanted to kick her soccer ball around the back yard, so she and I kicked to Wade, who was the “blocker.” I was holding Kate, and for some reason, the got the biggest kick (no pun intended) out of watching us play soccer. She just laughed and laughed like I’ve never heard her laugh before. I’m not sure what got her so tickled, but we were all laughing with her. She’s very cute.

One good thing about Hayley’s preschool is that it has encouraged her to try foods that she would not normally eat on her own. And I’m not talking about exotic foods, I mean just normal stuff like apples and grapes.

Hayley has always liked apples but we always had to remove the peel before she would eat it. Well, preschool teachers don’t remove the peel. At first, Hayley freaked out about eating the peel but now she will actually eat apple slices with the peel still on.

Hayley wouldn’t touch a grape before preschool. She was hesitant to try them there as well but the teachers finally convinced her to eat them. They told me that a lot of it has to do with seeing other kids eating them. Monkey see, monkey do, I suppose. She was very proud of herself the first time she ate a grape. She made a point to tell me about it, so I praised her.

When we were in the grocery store the other day, Hayley surprised me. She asked for seedless red grapes. I bought some thinking that she probably wouldn’t eat them but _I_ like grapes, so it wasn’t a big deal. When we got home, I rinsed the grapes and she and I shared a bowl. She told me, “I like grapes now. Four-year-olds like grapes. When I was three, I didn’t eat grapes but now I do.”

Allrighty then.

Hayley’s getting more socialized at her preschool, making friends, and learning how to interact with other kids. She’s even gone to a couple of birthday parties. However, much to Daddy’s looking-ahead-to-the-teenage-years concern, all of her friends appear to be *boys*!

If you ask her who her friends at school are, she’ll say “Brendan, and JJ, and Aaron, and Daniel, and Ivo.” She’ll take her “Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed” book and tell us a story, with the monkeys being her and four of the boys. Aaron (I think his name is spelled “differently,” but I can’t remember exactly how) appears to be her favorite. The other night at bed, she grabbed a stuffed tiger and giraffe and said “THIS (the tiger) is Aaron, and THIS (the giraffe) is me.” She then paused and said “No, THIS (the tiger) is me, and THIS (the giraffe) is Aaron.” She’ll even sigh almost wistfully and say “I like Aaron. I wish he would come over to my house to play.”

If you ask her if she plays with any girls at school, she’ll tell you “No, I just play with the boys.” I’m in trouble in about 8 years, aren’t I?

Our dirty little secret is that, for the first four months of Kate’s life, she’s been sleeping in the bed with us. Not because we are big believers in the “co-sleeping” movement, the happy family bed, or any of that. It’s because the kid would **not** go to sleep anywhere except on top of one of us or, if we were lucky, directly beside us.

She has been, in many ways, the complete opposite of her sister. Hayley was a beast to get down for sleep - it would take a good 45 minutes sometimes of rocking, patting, whatever, but she would lay down in her own crib, and once she got to sleep, she was usually down for 8-10 hours at night. Kate, if she was on one of us, would go to sleep in 10 minutes or so of rocking. However, she’d sleep between 20-40 minutes for a nap, and around 2 hours a stretch at night, before waking up screaming. Then you’d have to walk her around and rock her, nurse her, or otherwise try to get her down again for another couple of hours. And God forbid you try to put her in her crib - she’d lose her mind.

That was really starting to wear us down - she wasn’t sleeping, we weren’t sleeping, we were getting a little bit crazy. So right after she turned four months on the 1st, we decided she was going to sleep in her own bed at night, come hell or high water.

We settled on a “graduated cry-it-out method”, which meant that we’d do her bedtime routine (bath, stories, nursing), then put her down in her crib and leave. If she was still crying 5 minutes later, we’d go in and comfort her, then leave again. Then check again in 10 minutes. Then 15. And so on and so on.

The results were reasonbly positive from the start - I don’t think we’d have to go in and comfort her more than twice before she would sleep. Granted, she still didn’t go much longer than 2 hours at a pop, but at least we didn’t have to worry about the risks of having her in our bed, and we could get a little more rest.

This week has been even better - less fussing to start with, sometimes she’ll wake up, whimper softly for a minute, and put herself back to sleep without intervention, and she’d been having a good sleep from around 8pm-12:30 or 1, when she’d wake up to nurse. And we’ve become more attuned to her signs of tiredness, and started putting her to bed earlier if she seems like she’s sleepy.

Last night was a revelation - she was sleepy around dinnertime, so Holly did her bedtime routine and got her in bed at 7pm. Kate then proceeded to sleep uninterrupted until 3am! 8 straight hours! It’s like she’s a real person! We went in and checked on her around 1:30 or 2, just to make sure she was still alive. She was - just sleeping. She got up at 3am, nursed, slept until 5:30, woke up briefly again, and then slept until 7am. Hopefully there will be more nights like that in the future!

Our night-training is helping in other ways, too. She seems to be happier during the day on nights where she’s had a good sleep (duh), and she’s getting much better about sitting in her swing or on her play mat without immediately complaining. In fact, Holly’s been able to put her in her swing, have her play quieitly for a while, and then nod off to sleep for a half-hour or so for the past couple of days.

There will be bumps in the road, to be sure, but this is so vastly improved from how we were just a week ago that it’s hard to believe it’s the same kid.

It has happened–Kate rolled over today! On the day she turns four months, no less!

I put her on her play mat on her tummy so I could go into the kitchen and grab breakfast. I knew she wouldn’t stay on her tummy long, but I thought she would just begin to fuss and I would have to come get her. I was in the kitchen less than five minutes, and when I came back into the living room, she was on her back!

She had rolled from her tummy onto her right side and onto her back. I tried to get her to do it again while I was watching, but she would have none of that.

Our girl’s growing up fast!